BEREAVEMENT PROGRAM TO RECOVERY
THE PROCESS OF GRIEF is something we have to go through at one time or another.
THE RECOVERY FROM GRIEF is something we have to choose to do and work hard at it.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR FUTURE, AND ARE YOU WILLING TO WORK AT IT?
YOU HAVE TO SET PRIORITIES.
A VERY IMPORTANT PRIORITY MANY OF US SEEM TO PUT OFF IS OUR HEALTH. THE FOLLOWING LIST SHOULD BE FOLLOWED.
- A complete check-up by your family doctor.
- Make an effort NOT to rely on tranquilizers and sleeping pills.
- Eat well-balanced meals, including fresh fruits and vegetables, fish, chicken, whole grains, Dairy, etc.
- Drink plenty of water, at least 8-8oz. glasses per day. (coffee, tea, and soda are not included).
- Some sort of range of motion exercises each day. (walking, biking, swimming, low impact aerobics).
- A daily ritual of rest, 15-20 minutes minimum.
- CONTINUE GOING TO GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP. Attend at least 3 meetings before you decide if it is helping you. It is understandable if at first, you are unable to join in the discussion.
- USE YOUR TELEPHONE TREE. Your friends in grief are there for you. We tend to not call when we most need it.
TIME HEALS. This is true, but the healing depends on how you utilize that time.
FAITH – Take care of your spiritual health. This is a time to grow in your faith. Come closer to God and allow him to help you carry this burden of grief. God has very broad shoulders. Jesus Christ the Lord said in John 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO EXPERIENCE YOUR FEELINGS. Journaling is an excellent way to do this.
DON’T “BE STRONG”.
God bless you.
Pastor Don
CHARACTERISTICS OF MOURNING
Pastor Don
When we first experience the loss of a loved one, the most immediate response is that of shock. We sometimes have a feeling of numbness. This is a buffer that God provides for us so that we don’t become completely overwhelmed. Even when the death of our loved one is expected, shock, numbness, denial, and disbelief are all often experienced. This serves as a temporary psychological “time-out” for our emotions to catch up to information surrounding the death of our loved ones.
There is a wide range of responses to the death of a loved one. Because each person is unique, not everyone will experience every response. There is no particular order in which these responses are experienced.
Some of the following responses that you may encounter are:
Disorganized thinking – Confusion, searching, yearning
General sense of anxiety – panic, fear
Emotional distress – anger, guilt, remorse, crying
Physical symptoms – chest pain, shortness of breath
tightness in the throat, hyperactivity, etc.
Feelings of unreality, loss, emptiness, sadness, relief,
release and a general passivity (no feeling)
Disorganized thinking and confusion often result in unfinished tasks and are often accompanied by a lack of motivation and feelings of fatigue.
Searching and yearning for the person who died are also very common and sometimes we may even feel that we have seen our loved ones while shopping, walking, or driving our car. We may even hear the car door close and hear our loved ones walking in the house at the exact time that they had done for so many years. These and other similar phenomenons are not considered abnormal.
The general sense of anxiety, panic, and fear are experienced by most mourners. Thinking of our loved one’s death can bring about thoughts of our mortality. Fatigue, both emotional and physical often tends to intensify these anxieties.
The emotional distress of anger, guilt, remorse, and crying may be accompanied by feelings of hate, rage, resentment, and blame. These emotions are all to be considered separately, but it is important that we understand the underlying and more primary feelings the grieving person is experiencing.
These are feelings of frustration, fear, helplessness, and pain. Anger is a healthy emotion. The mourner has to give themselves permission to experience this emotion. This enables them to get through a particularly difficult time. If we do not experience the anger it will eventually manifest itself into self-guilt and could cause chronic depression. We must remember that when we experience anger it must be done in a positive way as to not endanger yourself others or anyone’s property.
Physical symptoms are common to the grieving person. Feelings of chest pain, shortness of breath, tightness in the throat, and many other feelings of pain, especially those associated with the deceased person’s illness are not considered an abnormal occurrence. However, it is extremely important to have your family physician look into these symptoms and follow up if necessary.
The emptiness, sadness, and remorse are often accompanied by guilt. If the mourner becomes obsessed with their guilt, their grieving process may become complicated and the need for some specialized help in this area may be warranted. The loss of our loved one, and the emptiness and sadness that accompanies it is often diagnosed as depression.
There is a difference between the depressed feelings we experience in grief and those of clinical depression. It is important for the mourner to have help in order to recognize this difference. It is also important for the mourner to understand that these depressive feelings are temporary and will gradually change during the coming months.
Reconciliation is what occurs after we have worked our way through the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions of the grief process. As each mourner is unique, there can be no specific time frame in which we bring our grieving process to resolution. The nature of the death, the emotional investment we had in our loved one, our support system, and many other factors will determine this.
AND FINALLY
HUGGING CAN IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH
Thanks to all the contributors for their input.
Hugging is a miracle medicine that can relieve many physical and emotional problems facing Americans, experts say.
The type of hugging that is recommended is the “bear hug”, said Dr. David Bresler, Director of Pain Control Unit of UCLA. To be held is enormously therapeutic.
Researchers have also discovered that hugging can help you live longer, protect you against illness, cure depression and stress, strengthen family relationships, and even help you sleep without the use of sleeping pills.
“I am convinced that the tender embrace can prevent or cure a host of different problems”, said Dr. Robert Rynearson, chairman of the psychiatry department at Scott and White Clinic in Temple, Texas. “A hug can have an astonishing therapeutic effect by providing a sense of companionship and happiness.”
“Researchers discovered that when a person is touched the amount of hemoglobin in their blood increases significantly”, said Helen Colton, author of the forthcoming book, “The Joy of touching.” Hemoglobin is the part of the blood that carries vital supplies of oxygen to all organs of the body, including the heart and brain. An increase in hemoglobin tones up the whole body, and helps prevent disease, and speeds recovery from illness.
Regular hugging can actually prolong life by curing harmful depression and stimulating a stronger will to live.
Pamela McCoy, R.N., who trains nurses at Grant Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, said, “We found that people who are hugged or touched can often stop taking medication to get to sleep.”
“The warm meaningful embrace can have a very positive effect on people, particularly during times of widespread stress and tension like today”, Dr. Voth added.
Hug your family, friends, and relatives. It’s a marvelous way to improve the quality of your life.
Dr. Bresler said, “Sometimes I just take out my prescription pad, and then I write out a prescription for four hugs a day, one at breakfast, one at lunch, dinner, and bedtime.”
The Bible says in
Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
God bless you all,
Pastor Don